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Old 25th February 2015, 09:27 PM   #41
Spider
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoneyMike_111 View Post
1.) The problem with this is that Ill be so old by the time I get there! That's what makes me sad and sets me back.
WRONG ANSWER! So, you are a fortune teller, now? You know what the future holds? If so, I want to be your publicity agent and we'll go round the world making a fortune together! The truth is, Mike, you have no idea what the future holds - Only, that with this negative attitude, you are a self-fulfilling prophecy! You will make it happen that way because you'll not make the effort to make it otherwise.

Quote:
2.) I guess Ive done that with school. Taking it one semester at a time.
So you know it works. Good! Apply that technique to other things, too. That's not rocket science!

Quote:
3.) 2009- spring semester - never took school serious and began to take it serious. I worked HARD and still only got C's. I was dizzy, had a burning in my chest, and was stressed through the roof...but passed. Very miserable but exciting time.

2011-2012, I was working fulltime and working hard at my job. I was also taking classes at night twice per week to get my associates degree. I just remember being miserable because I hated the job! Same burning stressed feeling. Not even fun at all looking back.

2014- when I started working at the casino. I was doing everything right and was just constantly trying to improve. Was having a ball. It came to be that they just demanded so much customer service wise that I started looking like an idiot doing EVERYTHING management asked. I start to cut a corner here and there when they weren't around and before I knew it, I wasn't doing my job unless I absolutely needed to. Got bored very quickly and just lost motivation after that.

2008-2011 - I was in the gym RELIGIOUSLY. Never would miss a workout, never would cut a workout short, ate very healthy...rarely had a cheat meal. I got to the point where I was "top dog" in my gym. Felt like it was a waste, like I was nothing more than looks. (had no job and wasnt really in school - no gf, no friends, etc.) Eventually realized I felt extremely empty and lot interest that I once had.

2015- beginning of my new class, I was reading and really into the work...studying and doing really well. Than I just started to see that some things I didn't NEED to do and now my grades and knowledge of new stuff are not as good. I feel like im half assing it but I cant seem to find the interest or work ethic I had in the beginning.

Its like everytime I work hard im miserable. I just don't get it....
Now, this is very revealing, Mike. It's not the answer I was expecting but it's the truth and we must deal with it.

Be careful with your language, though - you are falling back into the Negative Dialog. Remember "Fortunately I'm 27..." I want you to rephrase #3 in a Positive Dialog. And let me point out a few things I noticed in what you wrote above --

2009- spring semester - never took school serious and began to take it serious. I worked HARD and still only got C's. But while you were not taking it seriously, you would have been on track for an F. When you started taking it seriously, you clawed your way back to a C. From Fail to Pass, by working hard. And you found it exciting.

2011-2012, I was working fulltime and working hard at my job. I was also taking classes at night twice per week. You didn't like the job. Is it possible you weren't working hard at the job? If you don't like something any amount of effort will seem hard. You probably WAS working hard at school, though.

2014- when I started working at the casino. I was doing everything right and was just constantly trying to improve. Was having a ball. Then things turned south, but you was working hard and was having a ball until that point. It was only when you felt they were taking advantage of you and you stopped working hard that you got bored and lost momentum.

2008-2011 - I was in the gym RELIGIOUSLY. Never would miss a workout, never would cut a workout short, ate very healthy...I got to the point where I was "top dog" in my gym. And once "top dog" status had been accomplished, that's when you lost interest.

2015- beginning of my new class, I was reading and really into the work...studying and doing really well. Then you let your work standards slip and now can't seem to find the interest you had in the beginning. This has to be addressed, of course, but I don't see in this paragraph any indication that you were miserable when you were working hard (at the beginning.) You became miserable when you stopped working hard and started coasting.

It seems to me you are associating hard work with being miserable, but I see several instances where you were happy when you were working hard and became miserable when you stopped working hard.

This is an answer you must find within yourself, Mike. Dig! dig! dig!

I'd like to see you go back over your account (item #3) dig deep into the facts as you remember them and ask yourself if you are really being truthful with yourself. Is there another story that can be attached to the facts?

Things happen, Mike. We can be happy about them or sad about them or even angry about them, and the emotion that settless as "fact" is the meaning we attach to them' Apply a different meaning to the same facts and you get a totally different story.

We are the story we tell ourselves, and we are the authors of our story. We can be a different person if we write a different story. You have a heap of negativity to overcome and I am convinced you are man enough to overcome it.

I'll help you as much as I can but it really depends on you. Keep going!

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Old 25th February 2015, 09:48 PM   #42
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OK....

2009- spring semester - never took school serious and began to take it serious. I worked HARD and still only got C's. But while you were not taking it seriously, you would have been on track for an F. When you started taking it seriously, you clawed your way back to a C. From Fail to Pass, by working hard. And you found it exciting.
---I REMEMBER FINDING THIS EXCITING BECAUSE I WAS WORKING MY WAY INTO THE CITY FROM THE SUBURBS (GOING TO SCHOOL AND WORKING IN THE CITY). I ALSO WAS ALWAYS USED TO BEING DISCONNECTED FROM PEOPLE BECAUSE I NEVER PAYED ATTENTION TO ANYTHING EXCEPT MY OWN THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. THE EXCITEMENT CAME FROM THE CONNECTION TO OTHERS AS I WAS BEGINNING TO DO WHAT THEY DO AND NOT JUST GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS AS A "WONDERER"

2011-2012, I was working fulltime and working hard at my job. I was also taking classes at night twice per week. You didn't like the job. Is it possible you weren't working hard at the job? If you don't like something any amount of effort will seem hard. You probably WAS working hard at school, though.
--- I WAS WOKRING 75-80% OF WHAT I COULD HAVE DONE IN SCHOOL. WORK WAS MISERABLE BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO HOLD THE JOB DOWN TO BECOME A COP BUT MY INTERVIEWS KEPT BEING PUSHED BACK MORE AND MORE DUE TO MY RECORD. I WAS EVENTUALLY DISQUALIFIED FROM THE JOB (POLICE OFFICER). PART OF MY REASON FOR FAILING IN THE SUBSEQUENT 2 UNIVERSITIES I ATTEMPTED 2 YEARS STRAIGHT AFTER - NO HEART FOR THE DEGREES I WAS GOING FOR AT THAT POINT. STILL HAVENT FOUND A FUTURE CAREER THAT GETS ME GOING AN PAYS WELL AND MAKES ME MOTIVATED.


2014- when I started working at the casino. I was doing everything right and was just constantly trying to improve. Was having a ball. Then things turned south, but you was working hard and was having a ball until that point. It was only when you felt they were taking advantage of you and you stopped working hard that you got bored and lost momentum.
---- I PERSONALLY JUST FELT THE STUFF WAS RIDICULIOUS. I WASNT BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF. IT JUST WASNT THE RIGHT INDUSTRY FOR ME ALTHOUGH IT WAS VERY CLOSE!


2008-2011 - I was in the gym RELIGIOUSLY. Never would miss a workout, never would cut a workout short, ate very healthy...I got to the point where I was "top dog" in my gym. And once "top dog" status had been accomplished, that's when you lost interest.
---- YEA...I LOOK BACK AND REALLY WISH I HAD IT BACK. ITS ANOTHER THING I CANT GET MOTIVATED FOR. AS I WRITE THIS NOW I MISSED ANOTHER DAY IN THE GYM WHEN I HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO GO. I WENT ONCE THIS WEEK AND ITS GONNA BE THURSDAY TOMORROW ALREADY. NOW I HAVE TO GO 4 STRAIGHT DAYS TO MEET MY ROUTINE. NO DOUBT THAT I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DO IT....JUST WILL I? NOT TO BE NEGATIVE, BUT ILL GET CAUGHT UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE AND BAG IT 3 OUT THE OF THE 4 DAYS.

2015- beginning of my new class, I was reading and really into the work...studying and doing really well. Then you let your work standards slip and now can't seem to find the interest you had in the beginning. This has to be addressed, of course, but I don't see in this paragraph any indication that you were miserable when you were working hard (at the beginning.) You became miserable when you stopped working hard and started coasting
---- NO I WASNT MISERABLE. BUT IT WAS A PAIN TO HAVE TO READ ALL THOSE CHAPTERS. I REALLY CANT STAND READING. I GET MORE OUT OF SITTING IN CLASS LISTENING OR HANDS ON EXPERIENCE.

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Old 25th February 2015, 10:05 PM   #43
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You know, its interesting....now that you tell me to dig...im digging! lol

I reflect on my life and see lot of VOID. Lack of money, lack of experiences, relationships (both intimate and friendships), lack of knowledge, lack of Niches and interests.


I sit back and I wonder...does this have anything to do with motivation? what do I do to change this - this LACK of lifestyle. To fill the holes??

I mean, I have a lifestyle in my mind. It costs money. But its deeper than money...its as mentioned above experiences and relationships aswell.

I guess im searching, but for what


Whats gonna give me the feeling Im looking for? The feeling of importance and excitement, independance? Whats going to change my relationships with people and enable me to date regulary and have a larger more diverse group of friends? Whats it gonna bethat grabs my interest and holds It? What do I have the potential to excel at?


Last edited by MoneyMike_111; 25th February 2015 at 10:11 PM.
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Old 26th February 2015, 11:39 AM   #44
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Mike,

I'm no expert, just someone familiar with what you're going through. You and I have several things in common. Spider can help you and I suggest you listen carefully to every thing he says. Here's what helped me when was at the stage you're in now.

Start from the end. When you're dead and gone, what do you want to be remembered by? For me, it was that I helped people all around the world. Through inspiration, providing jobs, solving their problems, becoming a better person, making a difference, or starting their own business, people everywhere would remember me for sharing and giving. Look at some of the most successful people ever, what do they have in common? They gave their fortunes away!!! Carnegie, Buffet, Gates, Rockefeller all have given back to society to make the world better. Why? Happiness for them and countless others.
This is my long term personal goal. Is it yours? I think it's what most people eventually decide defines ultimate success.

Next, what needs to be done to achieve that goal? Before you can help everyone, you need to help several others. Before that, you need to help someone. A business should be (in my opinion) about helping people (customers).

You mentioned careers that helped people. Nursing, paramedic, law enforcement...these are all careers people (even children) view as desirable. Why? Because they help a large number of people!!!

Start with a problem and not a product or service for a business idea.

Start by making list of all the things you really enjoy doing. Even if you haven't done them lately. Exercise, football, video games, whatever but make a list.

Now make a list of everything you're good at. Getting results from working out, scouting football players with potential that others overlook, whatever but make the list.

Now make a list of things other people have said you'd be good at. Nothing to list? Start asking people for their opinions.

Make a list of everything you've always wanted to do but haven't yet. Climb Mt. Everest, run a marathon, coach little league football...make the list.

Combine your lists. What things from all of your lists are related? Which has the largest combination? Go back and ask how you could combine anything else not on the big list.

What do you not like? Be negative (sorry Spider), as negative as you can imagine. What frustrates you about the things you like to do? Are the workouts boring? Are there many people at the gym that make you uncomfortable? List everything !!! These are your problems and others have the same problems.

Find solutions to all of your listed problems. You're not the only person with these problems. What can be done to make it better for you and others? This, is what businesses are built on and grown from. Later, we can get deeper into problem solving. For now, focus on problem finding.

Search for businesses that offer the types of solutions you came up with. What do they offer? Do they solve all your problems? Do they make it a little better? Does it cost more or less than normal? Is it worth it to you? Why? What else would you like for them to have (or not have)? Ask other people for their opinions again. Do they want what you want?

That's a starting point and should keep you busy for a few days.

A little chit-chat...I have an old PS2 and the only game I have is Madden 11. I only play the franchise mode and enjoy the drafting, spring training, trading draft picks and players. I played football from 1st grade through high school. Everyone tells me I should be a referee or coach because I usually can tell you what type of play, what the penalty was for, or what the correct call is before the tv does. With that being somewhat in common with your interests...have you ever thought about starting a football league? Amateur, pee-wee, omni-sex, female league or something not limited by the NFL. My point is...why have a piece of the NFL when you can have your own league? What about a NFL players' agent business? Just some things to get you thinking.

While you're thinking...think about what Spider said concerning positive thinking and remember can't" never could do anything because there was no "will" involved. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough.


Positively,

DantheMan

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Old 26th February 2015, 01:07 PM   #45
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so i did a quick list Dantheman...

I came up with that I really like to, and am good at when I put effort into it - bettering myself. (Going to the gym and working out, eating right, staying well groomed, getting massages to keep my muscles healthy, going into the steam room for my skin, etc etc etc whatever)

BUT, its not just a physical thing. Its also mental. I really like to learn. Im good at school when I put effort into it and it CAN be interesting. I guess I just don't like to go to deep into one subject, id rather have a variety of knowledge. I sometimes will start reading up on different subjects (be it religion, cars, stock market...whatever) only to lose interest and stop a couple days later than forget most of what I learned.

I also value safety. Being cautious rather than reckless.




---


On the flipside, I like to have fun. My idea of fun is going to the casino/racetrack and gambling all day while having a few beers and cigars, going out to eat, going to a NFL game, going down the shore to go waverunning or fishing (really wanna get a boat when I get the money), going to the beach and just chillen.

I put all these together and hear my dads voice in my head, I guess I want "The High Life"...

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Old 26th February 2015, 01:24 PM   #46
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Mike, don't doubt yourself because of that voice. I live a lifestyle of my own - work revolves around life vs life revolving around work - making over $10k a month from my businesses while I live in a small mountain village nestled at an altitude of 9500' feet between 5 of this country's best ski resorts within 20 miles .... where I spend many days of my own out skiing and doing what I enjoy. Nothing wrong with that, imo. To each their own.

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Old 26th February 2015, 02:52 PM   #47
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Mike,

You made a quick list, slow down and take your time. You later said "on the flip side, I like to have fun". The fun stuff is what I'm talking about. If you have a passion for fitness, it would be fun also and not on the flip side. Take a couple of days to make your lists. Are you a cigar aficionado? Are you a good fisherman? If you had 1 choice of what you could be doing right now, what would it be? If you're working out wishing you were doing something else, what is that something else? One word of advice though, before you start again...don't think about how much money you can make yet...that comes later.


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Old 26th February 2015, 04:21 PM   #48
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Super advice from Dan and Logan. Thanks for joining in, guys.

Mike, Dan and I have been discussing how my business was so successful as a result of having an Advisory Panel and about Dan forming an advisory panel for his new business. Mike - it looks like you have just landed yourself an advisory panel!

When you said you hear your dad's voice, Mike, what is he saying to you?

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Old 26th February 2015, 06:58 PM   #49
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He says to me...

"You dont wanna work...you just wanna go to the gym, get big and hang out on the beach. And if your not on the beach, you want to be down the casino gambing. - GET A JOB!"

Problem is, every job I get pays about $12 an hour and I hate! Warehouse jobs. Driving jobs. Retail/sales jobs. Cant stand them!

Im just so sick of not being able to make any moves. I tried to be a police officer, was disqualified. I tried going into the military, was disqualified. I tried being firefighter, there never hiring and even if they were - prolly disqualified.

Then I try to get into the nursing program at my school and they tell me im not elegible because my background has to say, "no record."

I get hired by 4 different security companies (places like allied barton, g4s, etc. - still just $12 an hour but atleast something im interested in) but they disqualify me when they run my background. And to make it worse I cant even move up the ladder if I was hired because I cant legally get/own a gun!




I tell him, sometimes its not the hard work. If I knew I had a shot at getting somewhere by working hard I would buckle down and do it! But when everything Im interested in IS NOT AN OPTION its just like WTF??!?!?

Now im in school for EMT - something Im not even sure if I want to do because I dont really like the idea of dealing with blood and snot and guts and urine and feces and Im not working, just living off extra student loans.

Where do I go from here? It seems Paramedic is the ONLY option I have, but they dont make the money im looking to make without working 2-3 jobs! I barely wanna work one!!!

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Old 26th February 2015, 07:17 PM   #50
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First thing, Mike - you know I said stop saying "I'm screwed"? Well, I want you to also stop saying "I hate..." You don't hate anything, okay? It might displease you, It might disappoint you. Maybe you don't like it, don't approve of it, or don't want it -- but "hate" is such a negative word that it affects everything else you say and leaves little "hate-bombs" in your brain!

Where attention goes, energy flows. The more you pay attention to things you hate, the more things you will get to hate. And who wants a life like that? I know for this thread, you don't. So, no more, "I hate" okay?

Here's a little trick to play on yourself --
- Find a reverse way of saying it instead - "I love driving, not really."
- Get a rubber band and place it on one wrist.
- Every time you feel yourself saying I hate something, ping that rubber band hard enough to hurt,
- Then say your reverse phrase - "I love doing that, not really."


Watch this video - Zig Ziglar "I hate my job!" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XC_Fkg0UIQ


Last edited by Spider; 26th February 2015 at 07:32 PM.
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