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Old 25th October 2006, 12:33 PM   #1

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 11
Default "Make Your Website . . . Tactic 1" Article

I couldn't find the article discussion for "Make Your Website Work Harder Right Now: Tactic No. 1", so I'm just going to throw this out there. Karri, you're welcome to respond.

I've been an SEO copywriter for over a year. We ask our clients if they would rather us use first person ("I/We") or third person (which, technically speaking, in American grammar should always be 'it' unless you're referring to more than one company). We have people fall on both sides, and their sites don't look any less professional for making it sound like the owner actually wrote them.

For example, which appeals more to you:

"Our company works hard to bring you success. We get you the business you deserve."

"John's Widgets is hard at work for you. John's Widgets is on the cutting edge of widgetry. With widgets from John's Widgets, you'll be successful almost immediately. Its efforts are focused on bringing you more revenue."

If you use "John's Widgets" in three sentences, then it's a little repetitive to use it again but a little off putting to use "it," the proper word. Even "their" is distancing to the user.

I agree with what I believe is the underlying point: the page should focus on the USER and the benefits and value that you offer to him/her, but to say that using I/we "Even once is too many for any page of your site except the About Us or Company Profile page" seems like an overstatement.

Also, personally, I always look for an about us page. I don't want to waste my time slogging through a company's marketing mumbojumbo that it slapped on its main page to figure out what it does. The about us page is usually a concise statement about what kind of business it is, where it's located, how old it is, etc: all the things that instill trust. If there isn't an about us page, I assume the company's hiding something or ashamed of something (we're only 6 months old, we have no real warehouse, etc.). Maybe that's just me.


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Old 5th November 2006, 11:41 AM   #2

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 10

Insteading of going for either extreme, I'd take the middle ground to make sure the company projects a professional image while connecting with the reader:

"John's Widget works hard to bring you success. We get you the business you deserve."

As an example, you can check out Salesforce.com's About Us page.

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Old 7th November 2006, 01:46 PM   #3

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Posts: 78

Originally Posted by MegLooney View Post

"John's Widget works hard to bring you success. We get you the business you deserve."
The best shot, I think.

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